AUDIO PODCAST
Sex—who doesn’t like it? WHo doesn’t want more of it? And. no, this isn’t just a male perspective. Sexuality is one of the most powerful, intimate, and exhilarating experiences known to humanity. And that’s no accident—God Himself ordained it. He designed it not only for pleasure, but for union, for covenant, for the creation of life.
However, like all powerful forces, it comes with both instructions and warnings. Fire warms and refines, but uncontained, it consumes. Water sustains life, but a flood brings ruin. In the same way, sex outside of its divine boundaries—outside of the covenant of marriage—can become a force not of blessing, but of unfathomable destruction—it can even bring whole civilisations to its knees.
In a culture that glorifies self-gratification and tears down sacred order, we must recover a reverence for what God made holy, or pay the price. Because when we mishandle what is sacred, the consequences echo through individuals, families, and entire nations.
In his monumental 1934 work Sex and Culture, the British anthropologist Sir J.D. Unwin examined eighty-six societies across 5,000 years of recorded history. He did not set out to defend any religion or moral code—Unwin was not a Christian, nor did he claim any theological allegiance. He approached culture as a scientist, mapping how civilisations rose and fell in concert with their sexual ethics.
His conclusion was chilling:
“In human records there is no instance of a society retaining its energy after a complete new generation has inherited a tradition which does not insist on pre-nuptial and post-nuptial continence.”
— J.D. Unwin, Sex and Culture
In plain terms, when a culture abandons sexual restraint, it collapses—usually within three generations. And at the centre of that collapse is marriage: its weakening, its distortion, and finally, its abandonment.
WHERE DOES THAT PUT US?
The Sexual Revolution is generally dated to the mid-1960s to early 1970s, with 1968–1973 often considered the cultural peak. A generation is commonly defined as 20–25 years, though in Scripture it can be seen as approximately 40 years (e.g., Numbers 32:13, Psalm 95:10). For clarity, here’s a table comparing all three generational models from the point of the Sexual Revolution (~1965):
| Generation | 25-Year Model | 20-Year Model | Biblical 40-Year Model |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1st Generation | 1965–1990 | 1965–1985 | 1965–2005 |
| 2nd Generation | 1990–2015 | 1985–2005 | 2005–2045 |
| 3rd Generation | 2015–2040 | 2005–2025 | — |
KEY OBSERVATIONS
By 2025, we are well into the 3rd generation under the 20-year model and early 3rd generation under the 25-year model. The biblical generation (40 years) sees us only just crossing into the second generation, which aligns with long-view covenantal thinking—suggesting there’s still time for repentance and restoration, though urgency remains.
So why does this matter?
Unwin argued that after three generations of abandoning sexual restraint, societies lose their cultural cohesion and vitality. If the Sexual Revolution was the breaking point of societal sexual ethics, then by 2020–2025, we’ve entered the threshold of that third-generation collapse. We’re not just drifting into decay—we are living in the fulfilment of what Unwin warned about: confusion of identity, disintegration of the family unit, falling birth rates, and increasing nihilism. Even a river—a life-giving source—can become a force of destruction when it overflows its banks.
“It is now clear,” Unwin wrote, “that the human organism cannot stand the psychological strain of complete sexual liberty.”
So which generational model was Unwin referring to?
J.D. Unwin did not explicitly define “generation” in Sex and Culture using today’s sociological labels. However, based on his long-term studies of 80+ civilisations, and the time it took for decline to unfold following sexual liberalisation, we can confidently say he operated on something very close to the 20-year model.
He observed that within three generations (~60 years) of relaxing premarital and marital sexual boundaries, the creative energy, rationality, and social cohesion of a civilisation collapse irreversibly, unless those values are restored.
That puts us—post-1960s Sexual Revolution—exactly at the edge of that third generation now, in Unwin’s well studied terms.
So, if we want to revive our culture, we must begin by restoring the foundations—and that starts with covenant: in marriage, family, worship, and our social responsibilities.
MARRIAGE: THE FIRST COVENANT BETWEEN MAN AND MAN
From the opening chapters of Scripture, we see that marriage was never a cultural construct—it was a divine covenant.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave [stick like glue] to his wife, and they shall be [-come] one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
The word used for “cleave” (דָּבַק dabaq) means to cling, adhere, or be joined fast, like skin to muscle. This is no fleeting contract. This is covenantal glue.
Rashi, the Jewish commentator, writes on this verse:
“He shall cleave to his wife–as one body, united in desire, thought, and purpose.”
Marriage is not merely companionship; it is a mirror of divine unity, a replication of heaven’s order in human relationships. The unity and cohesion of a society is a product and reflection of the unity and cohesion of marriage. So when the marital bond is torn, the very fabric of a godly society unravels.
Matthew Henry, echoing this, comments:
“God, in His wisdom, put honour upon marriage… it is the foundation of communities, the strength of nations, and the shadow of Christ’s union with His Church.”
THE PATTERN OF DECAY
Unwin’s study shows a clear progression in collapsing cultures:
- Strict monogamy brings about high civilisational energy.
- As wealth and power grow, sexual morals begin to relax.
- Marriage is redefined, devalued, or discarded.
- Birth rates fall. Men and women become disoriented in their roles.
- The society loses cohesion, ambition, and unity.
- Civilisation collapses.
Sound familiar?
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil… that put darkness for light, and light for darkness…” (Isaiah 5:20)
We are living through the latter half of this progression. The data confirms it. The spiritual atmosphere groans under its weight.
MARRIAGE AS A BULWARK AGAINST CHAOS
Why is marriage so central?
Because marriage is the crucible where selflessness is formed. It is where covenant is not a theory but a daily practice. It restrains destructive appetites, cultivates stability, nurtures children, and channels human longing into purpose. It is within the defensive walls of a loving marriage that all emotional needs are met and character is fortified; without it, individuals are lost, looking for love and security in all the wrong places.
Scripture describes the breaking of this covenant in fierce terms:
“The Lord has been a witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.” (Malachi 2:14)
In this context, betrayal within marriage is likened to treachery—a spiritual crime. Why? Because the marriage covenant is a reflection of God’s unwavering faithfulness, and to break it is to profane something sacred. Sin, in its essence, is not only a crime against the other; it is a crime against God Himself.
At some point we really need to talk about why people, including Christians, are so bad at choosing marriage partners.
This issue is reflected in the staggering divorce rates, with studies showing an average of 50% of marriages ending in separation. Even more concerning is the reality that an additional 30-40% of marriages are marked by unhappiness, dysfunction, or mere tolerance rather than genuine fulfillment. These statistics highlight a profound crisis in relationship choices—one rooted in a lack of proper discernment, spiritual guidance, and an overemphasis on superficial qualities.
It underscores our staggering incompetence in an age awash with information, yet lacking genuine wisdom and understanding. Moreover, as people marry later in life—if at all—and often engage in serial monogamy or widespread fornication, we create a societal environment that grows increasingly anti-marriage and anti-natalist. This combination sets the stage for a societal collapse, as the foundational building blocks of family and community are undermined.
- Late Marriage & Declining Marriage Rates: Studies indicate that people are marrying later than previous generations, with some delaying marriage well into their 30s or even opting out altogether. This trend is driven by various factors such as career priorities, shifting societal norms, and economic challenges.
- Serial Monogamy & Fornication: Serial monogamy (a pattern of entering into successive monogamous relationships) has become more common, often replacing the traditional view of lifelong marriage. Alongside this, premarital sex (fornication) is prevalent, especially among younger generations. These patterns can disrupt the stability that traditional marriages and family structures have historically provided.
- Anti-Marriage & Anti-Natalist Trends: In many societies, particularly in Western countries, there’s an increasing disinterest in marriage and a decline in birth rates. Fewer people are having children, and those who do often have fewer than in previous generations. This trend, combined with reduced marriage rates, can be seen as contributing to long-term societal instability, as the traditional family structure plays a crucial role in nurturing future generations.
Too often, people, including Christians, fail to consider the deeper, long-term commitment required for a successful marriage. Instead, they rely on cultural norms, fleeting emotions, or personal preferences, overlooking the foundational importance of aligning with God’s will. As a result, many marriages falter, leaving individuals to struggle in relationships that were never divinely ordained or fully prepared for the challenges they would face. At some point, we need to address why people, including Christians, are so bad at choosing marriage partners. We must also explore what can be done to remedy this, starting with a return to discernment, spiritual preparation, and a deeper understanding of what marriage truly requires—a sacred covenant, not just a temporary arrangement.
Leave a comment, if you want to know more on the aforementioned topic!
Yet, and thankfully so, this is not a declaration of unending condemnation for those who have walked through the pain of divorce. We must remember that God is the God of second chances. In His boundless mercy, He redeems our shattered stories—when we lay them down in surrender, placing our lives upon the altar of consecration, which is the place of abiding prayer.
However, when a generation scoffs at the sanctity of marriage, we should not be surprised when it begins to scoff at all authority—divine or otherwise.
Unwin saw this clearly. In his data, societies that did not protect the sanctity of marriage became fragmented, aimless, and ripe for conquest-often by classic insurgence-or internal decay. Is this beginning to sound or feel eerily familiar to what is happening in the West?
THE CHURCH’S CALL: RESTORE THE ALTAR OF COVENANT
“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)
Fortunately, we do not have to wait for the world to repent. God has entrusted us with a profound gift—one that makes us response-able, that is, able-to-respond. It turns out that responsibility is power to act. The Church is not called to passivity or despair, but to rise in authority, prayer, and action i.e to turn back to God’s ways of doing things. What we do—or fail to do—as the Body of Christ will shape the course of society. The future is not solely in the hands of governments or ideologies; it rests, in no small part, with a Church that chooses to either awaken or remain asleep.
And here is the rub. In an effort to be appealing and inclusive to a lost generation, the modern Church, in many corners, has gone soft on marriage. In an effort to be inclusive or tolerant, it has failed to guard the sanctity of the covenant. We are not demanding abstinance and holy living anymore. Yet we are called to be counter-cultural—to model covenant faithfulness to a world (and church) addicted to self-gratification.
We are warned by Paul:
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves… disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy… without natural affection, trucebreakers…” (2 Timothy 3:1–3)
This is the fruit of covenant-breaking. This is what happens when marriage is seen as optional, fluid, or disposable. And yet, God’s blueprint has never changed.
IN CONCLUSION
It is time for us to repair the breach—to stand in the gap where the walls have crumbled and the foundations have cracked. We must raise up a standard, not of convenience or compromise, but of covenant love—a love that mirrors the unbreakable faithfulness of God Himself. The honour of marriage must be restored, not simply as a social contract, but as a sacred calling that reflects heaven on earth..
One thing is certain: if we long to live in paradise, we cannot do so without God. Every attempt to build Eden without the Creator collapses into ruin. There is no true paradise apart from His presence, no lasting joy without His truth, and no flourishing society without His ways. The restoration of our culture begins with the restoration of our hearts—and from there, the rebuilding of homes, marriages, and generations.
Now is the time to return to the ancient paths, to rediscover the beauty of God’s design, and to become living witnesses of His faithfulness in a faithless age. Let the Church arise and be counted—not as passive observers, but as covenant-keepers, bridge-builders, and standard-bearers for the kingdom of God.
DEVOTIONAL PRAYER
Father,
In a world that devalues covenant and celebrates self, teach us again the beauty of faithful love. Restore in our hearts the reverence for marriage, not as a burden, but as a blessing. Let our homes reflect heaven, and let our faithfulness in marriage become a witness to Your unchanging truth. Strengthen the weary, heal the broken, and raise up a generation that treasures what You treasure.
Amen.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
- Have I personally upheld the sanctity of marriage in thought, word, and deed?
- How does my view of marriage reflect (or distort) the covenant between Christ and His Church?
- What examples in society do I see that confirm Unwin’s thesis of cultural decline through sexual looseness?
- How can I be a restorer of covenant thinking within my family or community?
- What can the Church do better to disciple believers in the beauty and responsibility of marriage?
Like, Subscribe & Comment!
Leave a comment