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Long before sin fractured the world, before shame crept into human consciousness, and before love became a battlefield of desire and disappointment, there was a design—pure, intentional, divine. In Genesis 1 and 2, we glimpse God’s original vision for humanity: not isolation, not restless wandering, but a covenantal union woven into the very fabric of creation. Marriage was not a human invention or a solution to a problem; it was the Creator’s masterpiece, a sacred structure established before the Fall, where intimacy was not tainted by fear, and love was not shackled by brokenness.

God designed us—body, soul, and spirit—for companionship. Just as we were made to breathe, to move, to nourish our bodies, we were created for the sacred mystery of covenantal union, where sexual intimacy is not an afterthought but an intrinsic part of divine order. Any ideology that vilifies marriage or exalts asceticism as the pinnacle of spirituality is, at its core, a deviation from the original blueprint. The tragic consequences of distorting God’s design are evident—throughout history, we see how legalism, suppression, and the rejection of biblical marriage promoting doctrines of demons, has had disastrous consequences in the church and society.

“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.” (1 Timothy 4:1-5)

This has led to devastating moral failures by ecclesiastical decree, proving that when we stray from divine order, chaos is inevitable.

Jesus Himself rebuked the Pharisees with these words:

“You nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down” (Mark 7:13)

When human traditions overshadow divine intent, the Word loses its transformative power. Doctrine becomes a cage rather than a doorway to truth. Religion replaces relationship. But God’s original design remains unshaken: marriage was always meant to be a reflection of His nature—oneness, covenant, and holy intimacy—just as marriage is a prophetic analogy for the relationship God Himself wants with humanity.

Yet, even within this sacred framework, marriage is not a cure-all for immorality. The Fall introduced disorder, and no earthly relationship can fully resolve the war between spirit and flesh. God declared in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone,” but companionship alone does not suffice—only a marriage rightly aligned under divine authority can restore what was lost in Eden.

This is the story we must reclaim. In spite of what cultural Marxism would have us believe, marriage is not a narrative of restriction but of restoration, not a relic of the past but a prophetic signpost pointing us back to the wholeness for which we were created in the first place.

Only by returning to God’s prescription can we live fully, safely and wholly

GOD’S ORIGINAL DESIGN: MARRIAGE, INTIMACY, AND THE DIVINE BLUEPRINT

If we go back to Genesis 1 and 2, we see that God’s original intention for humanity—established before the Fall—was harmonious, committed union. He designed post-adolescent humans for covenantal-couplehood, a relationship that naturally includes sexual intimacy, just as He designed our bodies for eating, movement, and rest.

This means that our deepest spiritual and emotional wiring reflects God’s blueprint for companionship. Any ideology that demonises marriage or promotes asceticism as a superior spiritual path is, at its core, a departure from divine design. This is why extreme anti-marriage teachings within the church have led to devastating consequences, such as the rampant abuse scandals—an inevitable result of suppressing rather than properly ordering human nature within marriage as God ordained in the first place.

When human traditions take precedence over God’s commands, they strip His word of its transformative power. Rituals become empty, doctrines become barriers, and faith is reduced to lifeless routine. Instead of drawing closer to God, people become entangled in systems that obscure His presence. True obedience is not about rigid adherence to man-made customs but about aligning our hearts with the living God, who calls us into relationship, not religion.

Yet, even within this framework, marriage is not a cure for the deeper struggle between spirit and flesh. The Fall introduced dysfunction, and even a covenant relationship does not automatically resolve the war within.

Technical note: In Genesis 2:18 the word “man” is translated so from the Hebrew word “adam” which could just as easily be translated “human” or even more literally “earthling.”

GOD’S PROVISION FOR ADAM: A MODEL OF DIVINE PARTNERSHIP

It was God, not Adam, who took the initiative to provide a suitable partner for the earthling He had formed. Adam was not striving to fulfil his own needs; rather, he first existed in unbroken communion with his Creator, and from that place of communion, divine order followed, and Eve was brought forth. This is our first clue when it comes to having a divinely ordained relationship with a divinely ordained mate. Genesis 2:21-22 states,

“So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man” (ESV).

Unlike the animals that Adam named but did not find suitable as a companion, Eve was divinely fashioned as his perfect counterpart. She was, in fact, made of exactly the same stuff that he was. You could even say they were one before the separation, and God brought them back together.

This is our second clue, since being made of the same stuff means she had the same calling and purpose in life. Many marriages fail simply because people do not have the same calling or purpose and are not working together towards the same goal. They are like ships passing in the night. They do not spend most of their time together working, as they do working with colleagues on a communal project that requires significant time.

Several historical and sociological studies– Steven Ruggles (1994), Emile Durkheim’s Work on Social Change and Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History (2005)– suggest that industrialisation contributed to the breakdown of traditional family structures, including marriage stability. Some key findings include:

1. Shift from Agrarian to Industrial Society – Before industrialisation, families worked together on farms or in family-owned businesses. This meant husbands and wives spent significant time together, working toward common goals. Industrialisation shifted work outside the home, separating spouses for long hours and reducing their shared experiences.
2. Urbanisation and Economic Independence – As people moved to cities for factory jobs, traditional community and family support systems weakened. Women, previously central to household economies, gained opportunities for independent income, which, while empowering, also changed marital dynamics.
3. Changing Gender Roles – The economic shift redefined gender expectations. The rise of wage labour created a distinction between ‘breadwinner’ and ‘homemaker’ roles, leading to tensions when societal changes (such as women entering the workforce) disrupted this model.
4. Increased Divorce Rates – Studies indicate that divorce rates rose significantly with industrialisation, particularly in Western countries. The rise of individualism, economic opportunities outside of marriage, and urban living made divorce more accessible and socially acceptable.

Adam’s response was one of recognition and rejoicing:

“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23, ESV).

One could say that when Adam beheld Eve, he recognised himself in her—she was not a stranger, not something foreign, but his own counterpart, his equal, his very essence reflected back at him. The Hebrew word (חַוָּה, Chavah), from which Eve is translated, carries connotations of life and being, reinforcing the idea that she was of the same nature, not merely a companion but a true counterpart i.e. she complimented him and, he her.

Adam recognised in Eve a reflection of himself, not just in physicality but in purpose, identity, and divine calling. She was not an afterthought or a lesser being but a completion of what was already present in him—a shared essence, designed for unity.

This moment of recognition is significant because it establishes the foundation of biblical marriage: two becoming one, not through dominance or hierarchy, but importantly, through shared identity and purpose. Eve was not an addition to Adam’s life; she was his counterpart, designed by God to walk with him in the mandate given to humanity—to rule, subdue, and steward creation together.

God’s provision was not merely about companionship but about a sacred union, a partnership reflecting His divine image and working on a common divinely appointed assignment. The order was clear: first, man in relationship with God; second, woman drawn from man; and together, a covenant relationship ordained by God linking them back together.

This leads us to another clue to a successful marriage: being separately together—working toward a common goal and shared purpose while also ensuring that each person has enough space to breathe. A healthy marriage does not mean being inseparable in every moment, nor does it mean living parallel lives like “ships passing in the night.” Instead, it requires interdependence, where both partners are deeply committed to a shared mission while also maintaining individual growth and personal space.

THE BALANCE OF TOGETHERNESS AND INDIVIDUALITY IN MARRIAGE

SHARED PURPOSE STRENGTHENS MARITAL STABILITY

Numerous psychological, sociological, and historical studies support the idea that a strong marriage involves both unity and individuality. Let’s explore the reasons behind this balance and the evidence supporting it:

Sociologists have found that marriages in which both spouses work toward a common goal—whether raising a family, building a business, or contributing to a shared cause—tend to be more resilient.

• Dr. John Gottman, a leading marriage researcher, highlights that couples who develop shared meaning and life goals are far more likely to experience lasting marital satisfaction. His research suggests that successful marriages involve not just love and attraction but a sense of mission—a deep understanding of why they are together and what they want to accomplish as a unit.
• Harvard’s “Grant and Glueck Study” on Happiness (1938-present)—one of the longest studies on human well-being—revealed that relationships built on shared meaning and common purpose lead to greater life satisfaction and long-term commitment.

When couples align their efforts towards a shared vision, they create a deeper connection. However, problems arise when spouses have conflicting or disconnected life purposes, leading to frustration, alienation, and even divorce.

Once again, God’s perscripture—His divine prescription for life—reveals what is necessary for alignment, partnership, and purpose. Amos 3:3 asks,

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

This verse highlights a fundamental principle of unity: true partnership requires agreement. The word used for walk together in Hebrew “yeleku yaḥdaw” (יֵלְכוּ יַחְדָּו) implies not just physical movement but a shared journey, a purposeful direction. It is not enough for two people to simply exist alongside one another; they must be in harmony, moving toward the same goal.

A marriage needs legs to stand on and to move forward. Interestingly, we can hear the linguistic connection in the Hebrew word “ye-lek-u” with “leg.” This is no coincidence that “yeleku,” meaning they will walk is the very word used in Amos 3:3. Just as legs provide stability and mobility to the body, agreement provides the foundation and momentum for a marriage.

Without strong legs, a body is unsteady, prone to collapse, and unable to progress. Likewise, without unity in vision, purpose, and commitment, a marriage becomes stagnant or unstable. Walking together “yeleku yahdaw” i.e. “they will walk as one” requires both partners to be in sync, moving with shared intention rather than pulling in opposite directions.

The principle of unity in marriage is further reinforced by Jesus’ words in Luke 11:17,

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall [can’t stand].”

A divided house—a marriage where there is no agreement, no shared purpose, and no spiritual alignment—cannot stand. Just as a body with unsteady legs cannot walk properly, a marriage without unity and direction is vulnerable to collapse.

Division weakens the foundation, creating cracks that the enemy can exploit. But when a couple walks in agreement, standing firm on God’s principles, their marriage becomes unshakable. It is not merely about coexisting under one roof but about building together, strengthening one another, and advancing forward in step with God’s purpose.

God designed marriage to be a dynamic covenant, not a static institution. It is meant to move forward, to grow, to build, and to advance His purposes. A marriage that lacks agreement is like a lame body—it may still exist, but it cannot fulfill its full potential. True biblical partnership requires not only standing together but walking together in harmony, step by step, towards a common destiny.

In marriage, as in any divine partnership, agreement is not just about avoiding conflict—it is about alignment of vision, values, and purpose. Without agreement, there is division; and where there is division, progress is hindered. God’s design for marriage is not just companionship but a shared mission, where two individuals bring their strengths, perspectives, and callings into alignment with His will.

Just as a pair of oxen must be yoked together in step to plough effectively, so too must a husband and wife be united in spirit, direction, and commitment to God’s purpose. Amos 3:3 is a reminder that walking together is not merely about proximity—it is about intentional agreement in pursuit of something greater than oneself.

THE POWER OF A SHARED VISION: SHIFTING FOCUS FROM EACH OTHER TO A HIGHER PURPOSE

When partners share a common, compelling vision, their focus naturally shifts away from placing the burden of fulfillment solely on each other. Instead of looking to one another as the primary source of satisfaction, they align their efforts toward a greater purpose. This shared pursuit not only strengthens their bond but also relieves the pressure of unrealistic expectations, allowing love to flourish within the framework of a higher calling.

A relationship thrives when it is anchored in something greater than the two individuals involved. When partners share a compelling vision—one that transcends their personal desires and unites them in purpose—their connection deepens, and their journey together becomes more meaningful. Instead of expecting the other to be the sole provider of happiness, fulfillment, or validation, they look beyond themselves, channeling their energy toward a common goal that gives their relationship direction and purpose.

This shift in focus relieves the pressure of unrealistic expectations, which often strain relationships. When each person is seen not as the source of ultimate satisfaction but as a fellow traveler on a shared mission, love has the freedom to flourish organically. Conflict is no longer a battle of unmet needs but an opportunity for refinement, as both partners work toward something greater than themselves.

Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:33,

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,”

illustrate this principle. When a relationship is built on seeking God’s kingdom—His dominion, rule, and influence—every other aspect of life, including personal fulfillment and relational harmony, falls into place. Just as a well-ordered life begins with spiritual alignment, a well-ordered relationship is strengthened when both partners pursue a purpose beyond themselves.

A shared vision not only creates unity but also fosters resilience. When challenges arise, the couple is not divided by self-centered concerns but united in their pursuit. Their love is not based solely on fleeting emotions or personal gratification but is fortified by a higher calling that provides direction, strength, and longevity.

COLLABORATION VS COMPANIONSHIP

Two oxen yoked together pull in unison, their strength combined to move forward with purpose. In the same way, a couple must be bound by a shared vision, pulling together toward a common goal. Without it, they risk pulling in different directions, creating tension rather than progress.

What is your something? What is the purpose that unites you? A strong relationship is not just about companionship—it’s about collaboration. When both partners are moving toward the same destination, their connection is strengthened, their burdens are shared, and their love deepens through the journey.

A yoke is not a shackle but a tool of alignment. When a couple is yoked to a common purpose, their efforts are multiplied, and their relationship finds meaning beyond mere coexistence. Without a shared direction, even the strongest bond can fray under the weight of unfulfilled expectations.

When we share a common goal, we stop pulling on (against) each other, instead we pull together in the same direction.

So, what is your something? What are you and your partner building together? What vision keeps you moving forward as one?

THE NEED FOR INDIVIDUAL GROWTH WITHIN MARRIAGE

While unity is crucial, research also indicates that over-dependence in marriage can lead to suffocation and resentment. A healthy relationship requires balance—space for individual growth alongside deep connection. Rather than weakening the marriage, personal space strengthens it, allowing each partner to flourish and bring their best selves into the union.

In this respect, it is vital to honour natural rhythms. Just as the tide flows in and out, so too must a marriage have times of togetherness and times of personal reflection. Constant closeness without room to breathe can create strain, whereas a well-balanced ebb and flow fosters appreciation, renewal, and a deeper bond. True unity is not about losing oneself in the other but about growing side by side, in harmony with both God and each other.

• Esther Perel, relationship therapist and author of Mating in Captivity, argues that maintaining a degree of independence actually fuels intimacy. When spouses allow each other room to develop personally—through careers, friendships, or hobbies—they bring renewed energy and richness to the marriage.
• The Work of Dr. Terri Orbuch (University of Michigan, “Early Years of Marriage” Study) found that couples who encouraged personal growth and allowed for independent activities had significantly higher marital satisfaction.
• Sociological Research on Arranged vs. Love Marriages—Studies comparing arranged marriages (which often emphasise communal and familial goals) with love marriages (which focus on personal choice and romantic compatibility) indicate that the most successful marriages blend commitment to shared values with personal freedom.

BIBLICAL AND HISTORICAL MODELS OF MARRIAGE & PURPOSE

From a biblical perspective, this balance can be seen in how God designed marriage. Adam and Eve were given a shared purpose: to rule, steward creation, and multiply. Yet, they were distinct individuals with unique roles and expressions of that purpose.

• Proverbs 31 Woman—She works alongside her husband but also independently engages in business, managing her household and investments. This suggests that healthy marriages involve both unity and individual pursuits.
• Paul’s Letters on Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)—Paul speaks of the tension between devotion to God and devotion to marriage, implying that spouses must navigate their shared mission while maintaining personal spiritual growth.

Historically, many pre-industrial societies supported this model. Husbands and wives worked side by side—whether in agriculture, craftsmanship, or trade—while still maintaining individual responsibilities. The shift brought by industrialisation disrupted this rhythm, often leading to a disconnect between spouses.

THE MODERN IMPLICATIONS: HOW TO APPLY THIS PRINCIPLE TODAY

With today’s fast-paced world, couples must intentionally build lives that foster both togetherness and individuality:

✅ Establish a shared mission—Whether in ministry, family life, business, or a social cause, having a joint purpose strengthens marriage.
✅ Encourage personal growth—Each spouse should have the freedom to develop in their calling, education, and personal interests.
✅ Prioritise time together—Working towards a common purpose should involve meaningful shared experiences, not just co-existing i.e. date-nights, eating a meal together every day etc.
✅ Maintain space to breathe—Respecting each other’s need for solitude, friendships, and hobbies prevents suffocation in the relationship.

By embracing separately togetherness, marriages can flourish, becoming stronger, more fulfilling, and deeply aligned with both divine intention and psychological well-being.

The challenge is not merely securing a relationship but restoring the divine pattern that leads to a God-ordained partnership. In other words, you are the change you seek—the transformation starts with you. If you desire a thriving, functional relationship, you must first become the kind of person who can sustain one.

THE SHORTEST DISTANCE TO A FUNCTIONAL, FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP

Many relationships fail because people seek wholeness in another person, rather than in God. However, the shortest path to a healthy, functional partnership is not through self-seeking efforts, but through seeking God Himself. The closer we draw to Him, the closer we come to everything that truly satisfies—love, peace, joy, and fulfilment.

This means that before we look for external solutions, we must focus on our own spiritual foundation:

• Spiritual Practice—A thriving relationship is built on more than emotions; it requires a strong spiritual life. Consistency in prayer, worship, and seeking God’s presence is crucial.
• The Word of God—Scripture is not just information—it is transformation. By immersing ourselves in the Word, we allow God’s wisdom, perspective, and love to reshape our hearts. As Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” When God’s truth is inside us, it flows naturally into how we love, lead, and connect with others.
• Becoming Before Receiving—Instead of simply looking for the right person, or expecting our partner to be the right person, we must become the right person. Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us that love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, and self-control are the fruit of the spirit—not just personality traits, but evidence of a life transformed by God.

A strong relationship does not begin when you find the right person—it begins when you align yourself with God’s design. When He is at the centre, relationships cease to be fragile arrangements based on neediness or selfish desire, and instead become divine partnerships, built to last.

A BIBLICAL MODEL: ISAAC, REBEKAH, AND ELEAZAR

In the story of Isaac and Rebekah, we see another example of divine providence in marriage. Abraham’s servant, Eleazar, sought a wife for Isaac not through fleshly striving but by trusting in God’s guidance. This mirrors how Eve was brought to Adam—a divine orchestration rather than human manipulation. God, in His wisdom, knows what is best for His children and delights in providing godly partnerships.

Genesis 24 details this remarkable account of divine matchmaking. Before setting out on his journey, Eleazar prayed,

“O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham” (Genesis 24:12, ESV).

He did not rely on human reasoning or effort but placed the entire process in God’s hands, demonstrating complete dependence on divine wisdom.

The servant then laid out a specific sign:

“Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac” (Genesis 24:14, ESV).

Before he had even finished speaking, Rebekah appeared, fulfilling every detail of the prayer. This moment underscores Proverbs 3:5-6:,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Much like God bringing Eve to Adam, Eleazar did not manipulate circumstances but allowed God to lead. The result was a match formed in divine providence rather than human striving. When Rebekah’s family recognised the Lord’s hand in the matter, they responded,

“The thing has come from the Lord; we cannot speak to you bad or good” (Genesis 24:50, ESV)

This affirms that marriage, in its truest sense, is not merely a human arrangement but a work of God.

Isaac was not out searching for a wife. He was not anxiously scanning the horizon, striving to “find the right one.” Instead, he was becoming the right one—occupied with God, immersed in meditation, and dwelling in His presence.

Genesis 24:63 tells us,

“And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at eventide; and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.”

Isaac was not distracted by the pursuit of romance. He was pursuing God. While others might have been restless, chasing after companionship, he was at peace, rooted in devotion. And it was in that state—not striving, but abiding—that his answer arrived.

Eleazar, Abraham’s trusted servant, had been sent to find a wife for Isaac. But Eleazar is more than just a servant in this story—he represents the Holy Spirit, the divine matchmaker, orchestrating the fulfillment of God’s plan. While Isaac focused on the things of God, the Spirit was at work, bringing Rebekah to him.

The lesson is clear: the shortest path to a God-ordained relationship is not striving to find the right person but striving to be the right person. Isaac did not manipulate circumstances or chase after love—he positioned himself in God’s presence, and in due time, God brought Rebekah to him.

Isaac and Rebekah provide a compelling biblical example of a marriage where both partners were aligned in calling and purpose—even amid challenges. Their story demonstrates the power of divine orchestration, shared vision, and trust in God’s plan.

MISSIONARY DATING: A DANGEROUS DETOUR

In Genesis 24 we learn about another foundational component of unity when Abraham—a symbol for our heavenly Father—sends his servant Eleazar (the Holy Spirit) to find a wife for Isaac. He issues a clear directive: she must come from his own people, not from the Canaanites (Genesis 24:3-4).

This was not about ethnicity but about covenant. Isaac’s wife needed to share his faith, values, and destiny, or else they would always be pulling in different directions. Without spiritual alignment, there would be inevitable compromise—and in this case, the compromise would strike at the very core of his life: faith in God.

This is why Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 6:14,

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?”

A yoke binds two together, directing them toward a common goal. But if one is following God and the other is not, the path becomes strained, divided, and ultimately destructive.

Besides, do you really want the devil for your father-in-law? Because that is exactly what happens when you join yourself to someone who is not in covenant with God. Jesus made it plain in John 8:44,

“Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts [desires] of your father ye will do.”

If your spouse does not serve God, they are serving another master—whether consciously or not. Marriage is challenging enough without inviting spiritual warfare into the foundation of your home.

God’s design is not about restriction but about protection. Like Eleazar seeking a wife from Abraham’s people, the Holy Spirit leads believers into relationships that strengthen faith, not compromise it. Choose wisely.

MISSIONARY DATING: A DANGEROUS DETOUR FROM GOD’S DESIGN

Missionary dating—the idea that one can date or marry an unbeliever in hopes of converting them—is a dangerous detour from God’s design. Many marriages have ended in ruins and tears because of this choice. What begins with hope often ends in heartbreak, as the strain of being unequally yoked creates conflict, compromise, and spiritual drift.

This seems to be something women are particularly prone to, though men fall into the same trap—often out of desperation and a lack of trust in God’s provision. At its core, sin is exactly that: a failure to trust that God will supply our needs, leading us to take matters into our own hands. Missionary dating is no different. It is the belief that God is too slow, too inattentive, or too restrictive, so we make our own way—only to reap the painful consequences. But Scripture is clear:

“My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

This includes your future spouse. God does not need your help in compromising His standards to bring His promises to pass. Like Isaac, remain in Him, trust His timing, and let the Holy Spirit, not desperation, guide your steps.

Eleazar did not try to persuade a Canaanite woman to adopt Isaac’s faith. He sought one who was already prepared to walk in covenant. Likewise, a believer should not compromise their spiritual foundation for the sake of companionship. A godly marriage is not about dragging someone into faith but about walking together in it. Isaac waited while the Spirit-led process unfolded—so must we.

A PARTNERSHIP ALIGNED WITH GOD’S PURPOSE

1. Divine Selection & Calling – Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage was not just a personal choice but a divinely arranged union (Genesis 24). Abraham’s servant prayed for a woman with a servant’s heart—one who would willingly draw water for both him and his camels. This wasn’t just a test of kindness; it revealed a woman who was diligent, hospitable, and spiritually in sync with God’s plan for Isaac. Rebekah’s willingness to go with the servant without hesitation (Genesis 24:58) shows she shared the same faith-driven obedience as Isaac’s father, Abraham.
2. Shared Faith & Destiny – Isaac, the child of promise, had a covenantal destiny—to continue the Abrahamic blessing and be the carrier of God’s promise (Genesis 26:3-4). Rebekah was not just a passive participant; she became actively engaged in the unfolding of God’s will, playing a crucial role in ensuring that Jacob, the rightful heir of the blessing, received it (Genesis 27). Her actions, though controversial, reflect spiritual discernment—she understood God’s prophecy that “the older will serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23).
3. Interceding Together in Purpose – One of the most striking examples of their shared calling was when Isaac interceded for Rebekah because she was barren (Genesis 25:21). Unlike Abraham and Sarah, who took matters into their own hands with Hagar, Isaac and Rebekah stood together in faith and prayer. Isaac’s intercession demonstrates that their marriage was not just about personal companionship, but about fulfilling a divine calling—producing the next generation of God’s chosen people.
4. Challenges & Growth – Even when division arose in their parenting (favoring Esau vs. Jacob), the overarching narrative is that both were deeply invested in the fulfilment of God’s purpose. Their mistakes were not out of selfish ambition but a desire to align their family with the divine will—a powerful reminder that even in God-ordained marriages, challenges arise, but purpose must remain the foundation.

THE PRINCIPLE FOR TODAY

Isaac and Rebekah’s story teaches us that a successful, God-ordained marriage is not just about romantic connection but about shared spiritual vision. Their union shows that:

• A marriage thrives when both partners actively seek and submit to God’s will.
• Prayer and intercession must be central to the relationship.
• Faith and obedience to divine purpose lead to legacy and generational impact.

Just as Isaac and Rebekah had to trust God’s plan for their marriage and lineage, so must we. A marriage that is rooted in faith, aligned in purpose, and willing to intercede together is a marriage that fulfills God’s divine calling.

UTOPIA OR DEATH

“Utopia o morte” is a phrase in Portuguese and Italian that translates to “Utopia or death.” It conveys the idea that without striving for an ideal society (utopia), destruction or failure (death) is inevitable.

This phrase is often used in political and revolutionary contexts to emphasise the urgency of pursuing justice, progress, or radical change. It suggests that settling for anything less than transformation leads to stagnation, suffering, or ruin.

In the context of marriage, “Utopia or Death” can be understood as:

A thriving, purpose driven, God-centered marriage or inevitable destruction.

Marriage is not meant to be a passive arrangement where two people simply coexist. It is either actively built on love, faith, and shared purpose—or it slowly crumbles under neglect, division, and compromise. Just as a society that abandons its vision for a better future deteriorates, so too does a marriage when it lacks intentional growth.

Many marriages-as with even great civilizations fail not because of external attacks but because of internal erosion—a lack of communication, spiritual misalignment, or the slow drift into apathy. But when both partners commit to a higher calling, seeking God’s design rather than settling for mediocrity, marriage becomes a reflection of the Kingdom, a place of strength, purpose, and fulfillment.

The truth is we will miss 100% of the targets we are not aiming for.

DIVIDE ET IMPERA: THE ENEMY’S STRATEGY AGAINST MARRIAGE AND SOCIETY

“Divide et impera”—”Divide and conquer.” This ancient strategy has been used by empires, rulers, and warlords to weaken and overthrow their enemies. But it is not merely a political tactic; it is a spiritual weapon wielded against marriage, family, and the foundation of society itself.

The enemy knows that a house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25). If he can divide husband from wife, he weakens the family. If he can divide the Church, he weakens the faith. If he can divide a nation, he dismantles its strength from within.

In marriage, division often starts subtly:

• Compromising values to maintain peace.
• Drifting apart emotionally and spiritually.
• Allowing outside influences to dictate what marriage should be.

Before long, what was meant to be a covenantal fortress becomes a battlefield of misalignment, resentment, and spiritual erosion.

But the answer is clear: Resist division. Fight for unity. Guard your covenant. The battle for marriage is not won in the grand gestures, but in the daily choices to stand firm, to align with God’s purpose, and to refuse the enemy’s tactics.

The question is not whether the enemy will try to divide—it’s whether we will allow him to succeed.

So the choice is clear: build a marriage with divine vision—or risk its slow death and ultimate demise.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. How does God’s role in Adam and Eve’s union challenge modern approaches to relationships and marriage?
2. In what ways can we seek divine guidance in choosing a spouse, following the example of Eleazar?
3. How does understanding the biblical purpose of marriage influence our view of commitment and intimacy?
4. What lessons can we learn from the hormonal and biological aspects of bonding in maintaining a healthy marriage?
5. How can married couples ensure their union remains aligned with God’s divine design?

CLOSING PRAYER

Heavenly Father,

we thank You for the gift of marriage and the divine blueprint You established from the beginning. Help us to seek You first, trusting in Your wisdom to guide us into relationships that honour You. May our unions reflect Your love, grace, and purpose. Strengthen our hearts, align our desires with Your will, and teach us to walk in faith as we trust in Your provision.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

📖 MEMORY VERSE

“For everything God created is good [including marriage], and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.” (1 Timothy 4:1-5)

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

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Esther Perel 2 Books Collectin Set ( Mating in Captivity ,The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity )